Ran Out Of Gas On My Birthday. With Children.

I wanted the title to be "ran out of gas for the first time in my life on my birthday in the middle of fast interstate traffic with kids in the car."

All of a sudden NOTHING HAPPENED WHEN I PRESSED THE ACCELERATOR. I was in the far left lane cruising at about 80 mph in dense traffic. I had absolutely no clue why my beloved new Odyssey had simply DIED.

I drifted carefully over to the shoulder, panicked briefly, and finally saw the gas light, which for some reason is situated in a spot I never notice. I had to confess to the kids that it was midsummer and I had run out of gas. Their middle school age outrage and contempt was enough to strip the varnish off furniture.

I called 911 and a nice policeman eventually located us and made sure we were safely off the road. He called a tow truck and went away.

After hours of mounting disbelief, derision, and misery coming from the back seat the wrecker arrived. The tow truck operator simply left us in our seats and pulled the entire van up onto a flatbed truck, which I am pretty sure is illegal. It was way too much fun to be legal.

We got a ride to the nearest interstate gas station, waving at people from our seats 10 feet up in the air. We were greeted at the gas station like gladiators rather than imbeciles.

I guess the moral of the story is to run out of gas in the most expensive way possible in order to redeem yourself from being the most stupid, humiliating, thoughtless, incapable mother ever.

I'm guessing the van can go about 50 miles on Empty depending on traffic and how many kids are trapped with you.

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